A Touching Experience

I was having a conversation about ethics and knowledge with my friend, Lance Miller. Lance is a world champion Toastmasters public speaker, and he has given talks on the subject of ethics. As a subject, ethics is dear to my heart, as I deal with ethical matters and questions on a daily basis in my work.

Ethics has several definitions. A very workable definition Lance uses in his speeches, basically describes ethics as making choices that make sense – choices that lead to more survival, rather than less.

He described ethics as the footprint you leave wherever you go. What we do affects those around us, and we can either uplift people and enhance them, or bring them down. Obviously, uplifting and enhancing would be the more ethical choice.

This got me thinking about how even the small interactions we have with people can make a difference. It brought to my attention an encounter I had last week, and I’d like to share it with you:

I was in a barbeque place in Austin, Texas a few days ago. I’d just flown in after a whirlwind trip to the east coast. (Texas has fabulous barbeque, as you may know!)

There had been a very bad accident in front of the restaurant a few days before my visit, so that was the talk of the day.

A disabled man began to talk to me, telling me about the accident he’d had in front of that same restaurant twenty years ago.

He is crippled for life, and his speech is severely impaired. He struggled to talk and I struggled to listen. Somehow, I felt it important to give him my full attention.

It took a long time for me to get the story of the accident, and how he was in a coma for three weeks. The doctors told him he would not live.

He was determined that he was going to live, and he did. Although it might not have been my choice to live under those circumstances, it was obviously very important to him, and he was proud of having won.

I validated him for having made his goal to live happen. He lit up like a light bulb, and grabbed my hand and kissed it. He pointed at me and, in his very disfigured voice said, “friend”.

It really got to me and made me wonder how often anyone actually had listened to this man. That encounter kept drifting into my thoughts over the next few days, and I was very glad that I had taken the time to listen, even though it wasn’t really pleasant for me to do so.

I thought about all the times that someone had done something for me that may not have been hard for them to do, but had been very meaningful for me.

Here’s the point of the story: you never know how you might affect someone. Sometimes the smallest thing can make a big difference to another.

Although I’m not perfect at doing so, I’ve made it my personal policy to try to leave everyone I encounter with something positive – even if it is only a smile or a compliment. It might make a difference. And the attitude can spread.

Sometimes it seems that we can’t create much of a difference around us, but I think if everyone made it a point to bring others up, the world would be a better place.